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Shirley Cope

Shirley is my wife and I love her very much. She is a Chinese girl, born in Shanghai. I met her just a few weeks after moving to Shanghai, on October 23^rd. I had gone to Luxun Park to volunteer at the free English Corner they have on Sunday mornings.

We became friends, although we didn't feel very romantic towards each other in the beginning. Shirley is also an English teacher (in a nearby university) and she recommended me to a children's English school near Luxun Park called "Newave". I did some work for Newave, but didn't enjoy it and eventually stopped accepting classes.

Shirley is very pretty and was receiving a lot of attention from some other men. Most notably a university professor (who's name I can't remember) and an old classmate named Tony. Later on her ex-boyfriend would appear and begin sending her messages, asking her to get back into a relationship with him. Shirley's family, particularly her father, was putting a lot of pressure on her to leave me and marry one of these other men. The primary reasons were that these men were all much richer than I am, and that they are all Chinese (which would mean that she'd be much less likely to move overseas). She also attracted attention from her coworkers and students, but they usually gave up quickly when she made it plain that she had no interest in them.

However, no matter what her father did to try and make her, Shirley refused to leave me. Eventually the professor and Tony found other girls to date and her ex-boyfriend stopped calling. Even at the times that she'd been convinced by her father, and had decided to leave me for one of the wealthier men, her resolve always failed as soon as she met me. Conversely, whenever she was frustrating me (as all women do at some point) to the point that I was ready to be single again, I forgot any frustration the second that I saw her again. Shirley and I cared so deeply about each other that we could never stay angry for longer than one day, and usually made up within a few hours of arguing. I can honestly say that I find her more interesting to talk to and fun to be with than anyone else I have ever dated. I almost never get bored when I'm with her, even if we're just watching some old TV show or preparing for our next day's classes.

Since we started dating we've taken several day trips together: to Hangzhou, Suzhou, and Ningbo. We always had fun, wherever we went, but we both think that our four-day trip to Ningbo was both the most fun and most romantic. We feel that this is because we did everything spontaneously, without joining a group, making reservations, or taking a tour, and just went there and did whatever we found.

A couple of days before Valentine's Day, in 2006, I took Shirley to Luxun park and hired a boat. When we were out in the middle of the lake I asked her to marry me and she accepted. We wanted to get married on Valentine's Day but I wasn't able to get all of the paperwork that was required (the marriage office told me that I'd need a translated copy of my divorce certificate).

In September of 2007, still unable unmarried because we were waiting for my divorce certificate to be translated, we decided to have a baby and Shirley got pregnant right away. We decided to get pregnant before marriage in order to have the baby in China, where the costs are much lower, particularly since Shirley has good medical insurance through her job. We're about 80% sure that it's a boy, which we've decided to name "Joseph", continuing one of my family's traditions (he'll actually be the 4th generation Joseph). If it's a girl we're thinking about "Jamera".

I finally got all of the papers that I'd need in December of 2007 and we tried to get married on Valentine's Day in 2008 (it just seems so romantic). However, Shirley's father, who is still opposed to our relationship, hid a paper that Shirley needed in order to get married. By the time she convinced her dad to give it to her, it was too late to go to the office. In an effort to placate her father, and prevent a rift between her family and me, we have agreed to a suggestion of his that we separate for one month. If, at the end of this month, we still want to get married, then he will agree (I have some doubts about this, but I hope so). During this month I plan to travel around China, going to all of the rough, dirty, and poor (but interesting) places that Shirley would never want to visit. I have no doubts that I will feel the same way about her after 30 days apart, or 60 days, or even 360 days, that I do right now.